Calming Myself...

It has been over a year now since that last e mail that I received from my son's wife that said "it appears that this relationship has come to an end." I no longer send cards that are never acknowledged or checks that are not cashed. But I still recognize my grandchildren's birthdays by making a donation to St. Jude's Children's Hospital in their honor. I no longer send Christmas gifts but rather make a donation in the family name to Feeding America. I do this because they are alive in my heart. I am growing...there are days when I still feel insecure about the things that were said about me. Sad because I no longer have a personal connection with my son and his family. But, I am strengthening my self confidence every day...and I do not give the words that were written to me as much power anymore. My inner strength knows that regardless of those words my love is strong for my son and his family and nothing will ever change that. I am empowering my self...I am learning once again to appreciate my own words and my ability to love unconditionally. I am not worried anymore about what others think of me. I know my heart is true and good...my self worth is once again on the rise and I am happy. I am learning more about myself...the patterns that need to be broken...letting go of my insecurities... I am building a stronger belief in myself ...It has taken me almost 47 years to do this... but I am finding that my 18 year old self is no longer restless...and I am allowing her to finally be at peace with the decision that she help make so long ago.