Dear Patricia...

 

 

Dear Patricia...

 

I am here standing beside you...you are not alone anymore. I no longer wish to keep you locked deep inside me. Please believe me when I tell you that you are loved by me...that I am committed to transforming your fears to love...to opening our hearts and mind to love.

 

I am ready...I am willing and able to smother our fears with the light of love. Come walk with me, hand in hand...heart to heart to heal.

 

I know now that I did not fight for you...I did not stand up to all those who were not on our side. I am so sorry. I wish I had been stronger for you...more loving toward you. I wish that I could go back and change things...but that is impossible. I will tell you that you survive...that life changes and continues to constantly change. I will tell you that you have every right to be sad and angry but that only keeps you in the shadow of your life. That if you allow me to love you we can walk through this together now.

I can tell you that with age we are learning to travel down our own path...our true path...but it has taken over 40 years to do so...could we have done that at 17/18 years old? My mind tells me we were not strong enough or wise enough or good enough...BUT as I sit here with you silently my heart tells me differently...but it also whispers that "for everything there is a season" and our season is NOW. 

 

The walls that have been built to protect our broken heart are coming down...if we do not work together...we cannot allow the complete flow of love in and we will continue to poison our inner space. Forgiveness is a fundamental part of living a happy life...and I know now that resentment contaminates the soul...it will distance us from others but more importantly...from our self. We have the opportunity to offer our self grace...and with that we are offering our self emotional freedom that will help us stop the downward spiral of negativity that all the resentment brings.

 

Our blessing finally comes our way...and YES you do meet him again. And YES there is a bond between you and him that is strong and sure and full of love. And this blessing will help to allow us to heal and forgive our self.

 

We CAN choose forgiveness...we CAN choose love...we CAN choose happiness...we CAN choose grace...If we choose to let go of the resentment...we allow miracles to happen.

 

Trust me NOW when I tell you that your life will change. Trust me NOW when I tell you that you love and you are loved...Trust me when I tell you that miracles do happen...Trust me when I tell you that if you release the pain and the resentment of the past that you can build a family....one day...one memory at a time.

 

I am standing here beside you....you are not alone...let us merge together NOW and begin our life again as one.

 

You are loved.

 

(that is my graduation picture and what I looked like in 1969)