"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."
~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Once i got to the adoption registration site, I started questioning myself. What if my memory was not correct...what if I still had the wrong date. What if he wasn't looking for me...so many what ifs. There were so many different ways to search on the site...depending on how little or how much you knew. Seeing as I had so little information I decided to widen the search...I placed November 1969 and pressed search...1,569 matches came up for November 1969.
The matches came up with different categories that ran across the top of the page...
Adoptee Name...Birth date...Birthplace...Submitted by.
I decided that I would concentrate on the Birth place column, not letting my eyes go right or left to any of the other columns. I would start on November 1st...Looking for Rochester, New York. There were 32 pages of names...mothers looking for children...children looking for parents...siblings looking for each other. On November 9...I saw Rochester, NY, but it was a female searching...November 12 was a male searching but there was very little information...November 14 there was another male listed but he was born at the wrong hospital. There on page 17 I found November 15...I saw Rochester, NY I looked across the categories to Adoptee name...And there I saw the last name that I remembered from so long ago (the spelling was a little different)...the last name that would make me scream right out loud...OH MY GOD! I was physically shaking...I was crying...I kept saying over and over...I HAVE FINALLY FOUND HIM. I got up from my chair and started walking around the room...I was shaking...I was in total shock...after all the years of searching there he was... I sat back down and clicked on to see the information that he had provided...He had very little information listed, all he knew was that he was born on November 15, 1969, and that he was adopted at birth through a private adoption. He did not know the lawyers name...or the hospital he was born in. He wrote that he was short...had brown hair and blue eyes. That he was a teacher with an MA. and that he was married. He also had 2 adopted siblings...a brother and a sister.
What do I do with this information? Should I sit here and take it all in? Should I press on the e mail address provided and tell him that I believed that I was his mother? I sat staring at the computer crying, but knowing for the first time that my son was looking for ME...He was searching the internet and had been doing so since 2001...OK...so I believed it was him...my heart told me it was him...but I really needed more proof...so I set about "stalking" him on the internet. I googled him..I yahooed him...I even binged him. I would type in his name, press search and came up with information about where he taught, the subject he taught...BIOLOGY, and what students thought of him. I would press again and then that would lead me to another site that gave me his address and phone number and for a small fee I could purchase personal information about him (if he had a criminal record)...I wanted to see his parents full names somewhere...And finally there they were listed under his name on a paying site...May be related to: it listed his parents, his wife, and his brother and sister...I was staring at the names of his parents just like I remembered...the only difference was I had been spelling their last name wrong all these years...I was one letter off in a last name that I thought ended in "son"...when it was actually "sen". I would of never found him had I not talked to my facebook "friend" who helped my heart unlock the date of his birth.
As I continued to search I found a website that he started in 2001...Six Degrees of Separation was the heading..."Someone knows someone who knows someone who know my birth mother, please help me locate her by sending this off to everyone that you know." He had a letter there that said he has had a wonderful life...and that he did not know the reasons he was placed up for adoption , he knew that it was the hardest thing I had ever done, and he knew that it was out of love for him that I did that. Up at the top of the site were categories...one of them was "About Us". At first, I was hesitant to click it on...it was probably a plug for the site to get you to purchase something...But I finally did and there...there I found pictures of my son...pictures of his wife...pictures of his 3 children. A flood of emotions poured out of me.
Here I sat at 11:00 in the evening, on Thursday, May 8th looking at a picture of my son...a son who was no longer 3 days old...a son who was married now with a family of his own. My son was looking at me from the computer...he looked like my family...he had our high cheek bones...our blue eyes...that funny little grin...he had our hands...My 3 day old son grew up before my very eyes...he was no longer the baby that I kept safe in my heart...He was 42 years old now...and the powerful feelings of a new mother, who was seeing her child for the first time washed over me like a wave....a wave of love. I was alone in the house, my good husband was not here...but I raised my head toward the sky and thanked him for sending this man my way.
Where do I go from here? I went back to the adoption registry site and wrote an E mail to him by using a mail address that he had on that site...I also sent another e mail from his six degrees of separation site...I told him my name...I told him I was from Rochester, New York...I told him that I believed we had a connection and would he like to talk either by the net, I sent my personal e mail address or by phone, which I also sent along...
I could do nothing now but wait...
The matches came up with different categories that ran across the top of the page...
Adoptee Name...Birth date...Birthplace...Submitted by.
I decided that I would concentrate on the Birth place column, not letting my eyes go right or left to any of the other columns. I would start on November 1st...Looking for Rochester, New York. There were 32 pages of names...mothers looking for children...children looking for parents...siblings looking for each other. On November 9...I saw Rochester, NY, but it was a female searching...November 12 was a male searching but there was very little information...November 14 there was another male listed but he was born at the wrong hospital. There on page 17 I found November 15...I saw Rochester, NY I looked across the categories to Adoptee name...And there I saw the last name that I remembered from so long ago (the spelling was a little different)...the last name that would make me scream right out loud...OH MY GOD! I was physically shaking...I was crying...I kept saying over and over...I HAVE FINALLY FOUND HIM. I got up from my chair and started walking around the room...I was shaking...I was in total shock...after all the years of searching there he was... I sat back down and clicked on to see the information that he had provided...He had very little information listed, all he knew was that he was born on November 15, 1969, and that he was adopted at birth through a private adoption. He did not know the lawyers name...or the hospital he was born in. He wrote that he was short...had brown hair and blue eyes. That he was a teacher with an MA. and that he was married. He also had 2 adopted siblings...a brother and a sister.
What do I do with this information? Should I sit here and take it all in? Should I press on the e mail address provided and tell him that I believed that I was his mother? I sat staring at the computer crying, but knowing for the first time that my son was looking for ME...He was searching the internet and had been doing so since 2001...OK...so I believed it was him...my heart told me it was him...but I really needed more proof...so I set about "stalking" him on the internet. I googled him..I yahooed him...I even binged him. I would type in his name, press search and came up with information about where he taught, the subject he taught...BIOLOGY, and what students thought of him. I would press again and then that would lead me to another site that gave me his address and phone number and for a small fee I could purchase personal information about him (if he had a criminal record)...I wanted to see his parents full names somewhere...And finally there they were listed under his name on a paying site...May be related to: it listed his parents, his wife, and his brother and sister...I was staring at the names of his parents just like I remembered...the only difference was I had been spelling their last name wrong all these years...I was one letter off in a last name that I thought ended in "son"...when it was actually "sen". I would of never found him had I not talked to my facebook "friend" who helped my heart unlock the date of his birth.
As I continued to search I found a website that he started in 2001...Six Degrees of Separation was the heading..."Someone knows someone who knows someone who know my birth mother, please help me locate her by sending this off to everyone that you know." He had a letter there that said he has had a wonderful life...and that he did not know the reasons he was placed up for adoption , he knew that it was the hardest thing I had ever done, and he knew that it was out of love for him that I did that. Up at the top of the site were categories...one of them was "About Us". At first, I was hesitant to click it on...it was probably a plug for the site to get you to purchase something...But I finally did and there...there I found pictures of my son...pictures of his wife...pictures of his 3 children. A flood of emotions poured out of me.
Here I sat at 11:00 in the evening, on Thursday, May 8th looking at a picture of my son...a son who was no longer 3 days old...a son who was married now with a family of his own. My son was looking at me from the computer...he looked like my family...he had our high cheek bones...our blue eyes...that funny little grin...he had our hands...My 3 day old son grew up before my very eyes...he was no longer the baby that I kept safe in my heart...He was 42 years old now...and the powerful feelings of a new mother, who was seeing her child for the first time washed over me like a wave....a wave of love. I was alone in the house, my good husband was not here...but I raised my head toward the sky and thanked him for sending this man my way.
Where do I go from here? I went back to the adoption registry site and wrote an E mail to him by using a mail address that he had on that site...I also sent another e mail from his six degrees of separation site...I told him my name...I told him I was from Rochester, New York...I told him that I believed we had a connection and would he like to talk either by the net, I sent my personal e mail address or by phone, which I also sent along...
I could do nothing now but wait...
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