In the beginning of all new relationships we all try to go slow...but sometimes it almost feels impossible to do that...TRY NOT TO RUSH...was what I kept saying over and over to myself and yet RUSHING to make up for 42 years was all I really wanted to do...
IMPOSSIBLE...I cannot make up for the 42 years I was not there...and the flood gates began to open and all the emotion started pouring in...there were moments where I was once again that scared 17 year old who felt that at any moment I would be pushed away...
What was I suppose to do with all this fear while I was so happy to have finally been reunited? How do I merge this fear with the excitement? Can I?
Life was changing...changing all around me and I did not see some of it because I was blinded by the reality that this was my son...MY SON whom I had not seen since he was 3 days old...and so much time had now passed...
I wanted my heart to be full...and yet so many insecurities were beginning to surface...
No comments:
Post a Comment