Facebook: ~noun: a popular social networking website. ~verb: to search for (a person's profile) on the facebook site.
I received word several weeks after my good husband passed that a journal that I kept while he was ill was going to be published as a book. After I submitted it to the publishing company, he would always say: "when they publish your book" as opposed to, "if they publish my book". (Like I said before he believed in me much more than I believed in myself.) The book: Permission Slips for Your Heart and Soul is a series of 52 permission slips that are positive and affirming things that everyone needs to do for them self. It was suggested that I use social media to promote my book...and so I started several different pages on facebook, I had a friend of my daughters' make me a website and I started shamelessly promoting! This was the first time I had really used facebook, and it was amazing to me how many people were on it.
Anyone who uses facebook knows that you receive "friend" requests daily from those you know and those you do not know. I connected with almost everyone in an effort to get my book out there! One day someone I knew suggested that I "friend" a fellow that I had been totally mad about when I was in the 8th grade. Now mind you that was SO many years ago, I thought to myself..."really...whatever for?" And I choose to ignore the suggestion. However, within the next few days I received 3 other suggestions that I "friend" this particular fellow. OK...maybe this was some kind of sign that I should not ignore...maybe for some reason I should "friend" him...whatever were we going to say to one another? The one thing I find about facebook is that it skims the surface of friendship...it is full of curiosities for moments only...very rarely do I see long term friendships happening. (Here on blogger, I have formed many long standing friendships with people from all over the world, people I would not have known if we had not connected here.) I gave in...I went to his page and requested to be "friends"...He accepted me and I began reading his posts, scrolling down one after another till I found a video of him singing, "The Long and Winding Road by the Beatles" that was dedicated to his daughter...his daughter that was placed for adoption that he had recently reunited with. I never knew his story...I was so taken by it, not that I didn't know others who went through this because I did, but because he was so full of joy and happiness, and perhaps I wanted some of that. I wrote him off line and asked if I might talk to him about his reuniting with his daughter.. He sent his phone number because he was MORE than happy to talk to anyone and everyone who would listen. I called him the next day because as he said, this story was far to long for typing, besides he didn't type very fast and it would take him way to long! (Unlike me, who could still type 110 words a minute...not all correctly anymore... thank goodness for spell check...thank goodness for Mrs. Petit's typing class.)
I am not sure how many people believe in fate...believe in miracles...believe in the fact that there are signs that we should pay attention to. But, I do! And this "friend" on facebook was something that was suppose to happen for me. It was suppose to lead me down a path that I would not have taken. It was someone that was suppose to open up locked doors for me. I listened intently as he told me his story...from the beginning when he wanted to marry his sweetheart at 17 years old, but was blocked by her parents approval...to how he searched for his daughter for so long and finally found her via a adoption registry site just a month or so before...he told me how he had to contact her though a friend of hers in order to get her to talk with him, she had been searching for a long time also,(but like all of us who search was hesitant to believe that this could finally really be happening)He explained how he contacted his daughters' mother (someone he had not seen in so many years) after he found out her married name and her reaction to the news. Only her mother could register with the New York Adoption Registry in order to get confirmation that they were indeed a match. (He could not do this as he was not listed on her personal adoption information, I believe that the adoption system did that to a lot of us back then. That a lot of Fathers were dismissed without any consideration. I also had no knowledge of this registry, I was under the impression that New York state wanted us to know NOTHING about our children. However, if both child and parent are registered than they can provide you with names and addresses for both parties.) It was an unbelievable story...it filled me with hope on May 8th of 2012. I felt safe talking with him and told him my similar story, minus the reuniting. Once again I had to admit that I did not remember the date of his birth...SURE YOU DO he said, its there locked inside of you. I felt as if I needed to defend myself, to let him know that I was not a bad mother for not remembering...and then as I told him the date that I always said it was...November 17th...I felt my heart explode and I started sobbing uncontrollably...He apologized for making me sad...he was sorry that I could not remember the date of his birth, but that he knew it was just locked away deep inside. I said...No, that is not it...I remember the date...I know the date...It was November 15, 1969...November 17th was the last day that I saw him. The day that I placed him in the arms of a stranger. I quickly asked him what site he went on where he found her (because there are hundreds of sites...some free but most want money from searchers...some are legit...some are fly by night). He gave me the name of the registry that was FREE on line. I told him if I found anything I would let him know. I thanked him with all my heart for sharing his story with me...for helping me to unlock a key piece to my "secret".
My heart was racing...I was scared...I was crying...but now, I was armed with what I felt was the right information...now I had what my heart felt was his actual birthday. I was never going to find him looking with the wrong birth date...this was such a HUGE new discovery...
I turned on the computer, nervously typed in the site that my new/old friend had told me and held my breath, this was a site I had never been on before: http://registry.adoption.com/
I was taking the first step down this new path...
I received word several weeks after my good husband passed that a journal that I kept while he was ill was going to be published as a book. After I submitted it to the publishing company, he would always say: "when they publish your book" as opposed to, "if they publish my book". (Like I said before he believed in me much more than I believed in myself.) The book: Permission Slips for Your Heart and Soul is a series of 52 permission slips that are positive and affirming things that everyone needs to do for them self. It was suggested that I use social media to promote my book...and so I started several different pages on facebook, I had a friend of my daughters' make me a website and I started shamelessly promoting! This was the first time I had really used facebook, and it was amazing to me how many people were on it.
Anyone who uses facebook knows that you receive "friend" requests daily from those you know and those you do not know. I connected with almost everyone in an effort to get my book out there! One day someone I knew suggested that I "friend" a fellow that I had been totally mad about when I was in the 8th grade. Now mind you that was SO many years ago, I thought to myself..."really...whatever for?" And I choose to ignore the suggestion. However, within the next few days I received 3 other suggestions that I "friend" this particular fellow. OK...maybe this was some kind of sign that I should not ignore...maybe for some reason I should "friend" him...whatever were we going to say to one another? The one thing I find about facebook is that it skims the surface of friendship...it is full of curiosities for moments only...very rarely do I see long term friendships happening. (Here on blogger, I have formed many long standing friendships with people from all over the world, people I would not have known if we had not connected here.) I gave in...I went to his page and requested to be "friends"...He accepted me and I began reading his posts, scrolling down one after another till I found a video of him singing, "The Long and Winding Road by the Beatles" that was dedicated to his daughter...his daughter that was placed for adoption that he had recently reunited with. I never knew his story...I was so taken by it, not that I didn't know others who went through this because I did, but because he was so full of joy and happiness, and perhaps I wanted some of that. I wrote him off line and asked if I might talk to him about his reuniting with his daughter.. He sent his phone number because he was MORE than happy to talk to anyone and everyone who would listen. I called him the next day because as he said, this story was far to long for typing, besides he didn't type very fast and it would take him way to long! (Unlike me, who could still type 110 words a minute...not all correctly anymore... thank goodness for spell check...thank goodness for Mrs. Petit's typing class.)
I am not sure how many people believe in fate...believe in miracles...believe in the fact that there are signs that we should pay attention to. But, I do! And this "friend" on facebook was something that was suppose to happen for me. It was suppose to lead me down a path that I would not have taken. It was someone that was suppose to open up locked doors for me. I listened intently as he told me his story...from the beginning when he wanted to marry his sweetheart at 17 years old, but was blocked by her parents approval...to how he searched for his daughter for so long and finally found her via a adoption registry site just a month or so before...he told me how he had to contact her though a friend of hers in order to get her to talk with him, she had been searching for a long time also,(but like all of us who search was hesitant to believe that this could finally really be happening)He explained how he contacted his daughters' mother (someone he had not seen in so many years) after he found out her married name and her reaction to the news. Only her mother could register with the New York Adoption Registry in order to get confirmation that they were indeed a match. (He could not do this as he was not listed on her personal adoption information, I believe that the adoption system did that to a lot of us back then. That a lot of Fathers were dismissed without any consideration. I also had no knowledge of this registry, I was under the impression that New York state wanted us to know NOTHING about our children. However, if both child and parent are registered than they can provide you with names and addresses for both parties.) It was an unbelievable story...it filled me with hope on May 8th of 2012. I felt safe talking with him and told him my similar story, minus the reuniting. Once again I had to admit that I did not remember the date of his birth...SURE YOU DO he said, its there locked inside of you. I felt as if I needed to defend myself, to let him know that I was not a bad mother for not remembering...and then as I told him the date that I always said it was...November 17th...I felt my heart explode and I started sobbing uncontrollably...He apologized for making me sad...he was sorry that I could not remember the date of his birth, but that he knew it was just locked away deep inside. I said...No, that is not it...I remember the date...I know the date...It was November 15, 1969...November 17th was the last day that I saw him. The day that I placed him in the arms of a stranger. I quickly asked him what site he went on where he found her (because there are hundreds of sites...some free but most want money from searchers...some are legit...some are fly by night). He gave me the name of the registry that was FREE on line. I told him if I found anything I would let him know. I thanked him with all my heart for sharing his story with me...for helping me to unlock a key piece to my "secret".
My heart was racing...I was scared...I was crying...but now, I was armed with what I felt was the right information...now I had what my heart felt was his actual birthday. I was never going to find him looking with the wrong birth date...this was such a HUGE new discovery...
I turned on the computer, nervously typed in the site that my new/old friend had told me and held my breath, this was a site I had never been on before: http://registry.adoption.com/
I was taking the first step down this new path...
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