Dear Patricia...

This is what adoption feels like to me... 



 

They do not acknowledge adoption loss...grieving is done in silence...

 

Dear Patricia...

 

The moment a child is born, the mother is born also. She never existed before that very moment. There was a female...a girl...a woman before that moment. NOW she is a MOTHER....something absolutely new.

 

They lied when they told you that you would "forget". They lied when they told you that it would get easier with time. They lied when they told you that this was the best possible thing to do and that your child would be better off without you. They lied when they told you that you really did not have a choice. They lied...they brainwashed you into believing that there was nothing else you could do...

 

You will never forget...it did not get better or easier with time, you continued to follow destructive patterns, because you never felt "good enough". You will never know if you did the best possible thing because you were not allowed that...you will never know if your child was better off without you as you cannot go back and redo it...

 

You never really saw it...maybe you never really wanted to see it. You were naïve, and you were made to believe all of it was for the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD. That you were protecting him from the worse life...one living with you where you had no money...only a high school education...you couldn't even take care of your self, so how could you take care of a child?...you would be a "single mother" and every child needs 2 parents...so adoption is the ONLY ANSWER.

 

So even though it was the hardest thing you ever did, you did it because you loved your child...you felt you were doing what was BEST FOR YOUR CHILD. Adoption would keep your child from hardship...why would you make your child suffer by being selfish and wanting to keep him? You believed everything because you had so much self-doubt...You believed that you could not possibly be a good mother...so you followed the path that was chosen...you made the sacrifice...because you were told and made to believe that your child would be happier...healthier...and more loved with someone other than you.

 

YES...you helped make that decision....YES...it was a choice. But it was without TRUTH...and not a choice you would make again.

 

You can start NOW to heal that broken piece of yourself. You can start NOW to heal your heart.

 

You are LOVED!