The month of May is very special to me (and my heart) for all sorts of reasons...
1. My daughter was born on the 15th
2. My sister was born on the 19th
3. My late husband was born on the 26th
4. Other family members were also born this month.
MAY 10th is the anniversary date of the first time I talked to my son (and family)...and then of course there is Mother's Day. Quite a double celebration!
Two days in row that tug at my heart. Two days in a row that forever changed my life.
My son was my first born...and for 42 years Mother's Day was not acknowledged by anyone for me in regards to him. It was a hole in my heart...a piece missing . When my daughter was born in 1973 I was finally allowed to celebrate Mother's Day...but that hole and the piece were still missing. Don't get me wrong...I still celebrated...I still loved being a Mother...I gave my all to that position I held in life...but there was always that part of me that was never acknowledged...there was always the child that was not a part of my life...
I wondered this year as I sent out an anniversary card to my son and family...if there will come a day when I will no longer need to honor the day that we first talked...if we would get to a place where we would acknowledge the "normal" days that most families celebrate...and my mind could not wrap around that thought...it is a milestone for us as Mother and Son...
There are stories that all Mothers can tell about their children...what they were like as babies...the first time they said MAMA...how they did in school...what they loved to do as they grew up...and Gerard and I do not have those...but what we do have is MAY 10th....The beginning of a life that we would share together...
I do not dwell anymore on the things that I missed with my son...I no longer go there...it serves me no purpose...instead I hold onto the things that we have...what we share together now...the memories that we are making together...
I hold onto the sentiment of the card I received from him for this anniversary date...and my heart celebrates...
Miles apart...and missing you with all my heart.
1. My daughter was born on the 15th
2. My sister was born on the 19th
3. My late husband was born on the 26th
4. Other family members were also born this month.
MAY 10th is the anniversary date of the first time I talked to my son (and family)...and then of course there is Mother's Day. Quite a double celebration!
Two days in row that tug at my heart. Two days in a row that forever changed my life.
My son was my first born...and for 42 years Mother's Day was not acknowledged by anyone for me in regards to him. It was a hole in my heart...a piece missing . When my daughter was born in 1973 I was finally allowed to celebrate Mother's Day...but that hole and the piece were still missing. Don't get me wrong...I still celebrated...I still loved being a Mother...I gave my all to that position I held in life...but there was always that part of me that was never acknowledged...there was always the child that was not a part of my life...
I wondered this year as I sent out an anniversary card to my son and family...if there will come a day when I will no longer need to honor the day that we first talked...if we would get to a place where we would acknowledge the "normal" days that most families celebrate...and my mind could not wrap around that thought...it is a milestone for us as Mother and Son...
There are stories that all Mothers can tell about their children...what they were like as babies...the first time they said MAMA...how they did in school...what they loved to do as they grew up...and Gerard and I do not have those...but what we do have is MAY 10th....The beginning of a life that we would share together...
I do not dwell anymore on the things that I missed with my son...I no longer go there...it serves me no purpose...instead I hold onto the things that we have...what we share together now...the memories that we are making together...
I hold onto the sentiment of the card I received from him for this anniversary date...and my heart celebrates...
Miles apart...and missing you with all my heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment