How do you forgive?

We each have our own opinion on what forgiveness means to us...I was taught to "forgive and forget". As an adult I am not sure if we can all do this...because as adults it becomes more about ego...more about who did what and why...Forgiveness is sometimes a very difficult thing to do. And yet, we have all read stories about how someone forgave an unspeakable crime. I wonder, why is it that we hold on to those things that we said we forgave someone for? Why is it that most people say, "I will forgive them if they repent"? Why is it that most of us put strings and conditions on our forgiveness?

According to the dictionary forgiveness is: the act of forgiving, meaning to cease to blame someone or something, grant pardon for a wrong doing, free from penalty, or cease to feel resentment against someone or something for a wrong committed.

 

For me, forgiveness is about releasing...releasing pain, real or imaginary...that I feel was caused by an action...a person...myself...releasing resentment...forgiving without having strings attached...forgiving from my heart...

 

Forgiveness is something that I do in order to heal...I am not a religious person...I am a spiritual person...and I tend not to hold onto words that have been spoken that may have hurt me when I heard them...because they hurt my ego...they did not hurt me...the me that resides in my heart...the true me...

 

Many spiritual leaders believe that forgiveness goes beyond the level of acceptance to a level of unconditional love...
 

Deepak Chopra in his book, The Deeper Wound:

“Forgiveness belongs to the heart.  You can understand its value, you can believe that it is moral, good, upright and righteous to forgive – but if you don’t feel it, forgiveness is forced.  Countless times you have needed forgiveness and countless times you have offered it to someone else.  The mantle of who is right and who is wronged gets passed around in a circle.  When you cannot find in yourself the purity of forgiveness, ask to feel more than you feel.  Spirit won’t give you new and better reasons to forgive someone.  It will show you another way"


How do you forgive?

Do you do so unconditionally? Do you add strings? Do you make the person jump through a hoop of fire? Do you forgive and forget? Do you forgive because that is what your heart says to do?